I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
