#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Randomize
