it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
