He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
