Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
