is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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