nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
