What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Randomize