dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
