I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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