i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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