God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
