If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
