the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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