I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
