Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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