i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
