Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Randomize
