How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
