i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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