another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Randomize
