Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
