Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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