Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
