Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
