yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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