I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
