when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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