just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize
