I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
