I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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