but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
