WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
