You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
The adults are the big ones right?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
