I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
