Already got asked if we're dating
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
