the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
