rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
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