We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
