would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
