Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
