so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
