I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
But break dance skills will only take you so far
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
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