So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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