honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
