You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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