the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
