I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
