You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
