he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Randomize
