New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
