used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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