I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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