Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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